Friday, August 6, 2010

The Recumbent Rider, Part Six, Doug Harris

Doug is a hoot. He is always fun to have around, Everyone agrees. He was I'm sure one of those students growing up that all the teachers loved as well as hated. Truth is, He never grew up!
Check out how he answered the questions, Warning, Its not all true. Actually. none of it is.

Q: What first attracted you to Recumbents and when did you first see one?

A: The fact that I could pedal while seated in a beach chair, snacking on crisps and quaffing down multiple pints of ale.
Back in 96..while vacationing in Bhutan

Q: How long did it take you after you first wanted one to own one?

A: Not long at all. I saw one parked on the street unattended, so I stole it.

Q: How long did it take for you to feel comfortable and safe riding on the street?

A: Never felt comfortable...still petrified, but I deal with it. Thank God for drugs

Q: What kind of riding do you find yourself doing most? Touring, commuting, group rides?

A: Jaunts to the neighborhood Sushi Bar for burgers and fries.

Q: What are your favorite things about riding a Recumbent?

A: That I appear handicapped and people will throw coins out of pity. I now have enough to buy a friggin Ferrari and no longer have to ride this stupid bike.

Q: How do you find the Recumbent riders as people? Do you notice any differences to other friends and riders of uprights?

A: I find them much like other cyclists only way more dorkier. I find my friends who ride uprights are, well... upright.and outstanding citizens. unlike those outlaws on recumbents...

Q: What are your other favorite hobbies?

A: Answering surveys

Q: Do you see any difference in the ride compared to an upright style bicycle?

A: Oh yes, my bloody feet are in the way and detract from my view, it'd be better if they could be tucked away under my body. Somebody should design a bike where you sit on a little wedge like seat and lean slightly forward while your arms grab onto a bar that steers the bike, all the while your legs and feet would just drop down under your body on to pedals...that would be fantastic if someone could design such a machine.

Q: Do you find hill climbing a much bigger problem then an upright style of bicycle, if at all?

A: No problem at all. If a hill is too big or too steep I usually call for a taxi,

Q: Do you feel more invisible on your Recumbent then you do on an upright bicycle?

A: Only when riding in my Desert Storm camo spandex

Q: Would you take your Recumbent everywhere you would ride an upright?

A: No definitely not, I would would never take it to Redbones...they refuse to valet park recumbents

Q:What's the longest ride you have ever done in a day on your Recumbent?

A: Probably 5 miles, and that was with multiple stops to apply Preparation H

Q: Would you recommend a Recumbent bicycle to a friend?

A: Not unless they had a death wish or wanted to attract the nerdiest people in the world. I would recommend that they lay in a stack of pocket protectors first.

Q: What do your friends and family think about you riding a Recumbent?

A: They've disowned me

Q: Do you listen to music while riding a Recumbent and do you feel safer with this style of bicycle doing so?

A: Absolutely! Love to pedal along to the tunes of The Fifth Dimension, "Last night I didn't get to sleep at all, no,no, the sleeping pill I took was just a waist of time, I couldn't close my eyes 'cause you were on my mind and last night I didn't get to sleep, no I didn't get to sleep at all"....God damn does it get any better ? I feel so safe and protected in my Bent...Bentley motorcar that is!

Q: How has the Recumbent changed your life?

A: Before the recumbent I was miserable, depressed, absolutely a shell of my former self. When I found recumbentcy I became a changed man. I suddenly had the urge to dance the tango, eat spicy szechuan dumplings and contemplate my navel...thank God recumbentcy came into my life. Hallelujah!


Thanks Doug, Sorta,,,

=

4 comments:

  1. And I thought your FAMILY was strange....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have just GOT to ride with you!! I'm dying to see the Desert Storm camo spandex. And after the ride, we can go tango dancing.

    Maybe I'll even pay for the taxi when we hit the steep hills. (What a great idea. I wish I would have thought of that one a while ago.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ohhhh...and wait til you see this crazy mofo open bottle of beer- with his EYE!!

    AND he knows about a dozen languages, which I've wittnessed him whip out on unsuspecting furriners!!

    Doug...get back...get back...get back to where you once belonged!

    Ringo

    ReplyDelete

 
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